Buckle up for a bumpy tale folks… hadn’t played this track in years and was hoping to catch some nostalgia, but instead we caught a $97 (after taxes and fees), Tuesday morning green fee on a poorly maintained course.
If you ride a Harley and like to play in jeans, this course is for you. Otherwise, do yourself a favor and spend the extra $20-$40 to play elsewhere. Would have been fine paying $50 or so for this round, but man, once you escape the first hole the ruse is on.
As a former baseball pitcher I thought I was back on the mound, but with a driver in hand; some of these tee boxes had me thinking bullpen, not fairway. Perhaps some of my green fee proceeds can go to a level for the g-crew.
From there it’s back in the cart for a no frills driving experience. Is that some divot repair sand or an ash tray… you decide. No gps pairs nicely with the cart path only stakes and ropes on most holes. Not sure if that move was motivated to needlessly save the already well established fairway grass or perhaps implemented to spare the golf carts and its riders from an Olympic style moguls experience; and if you do run into trouble with the cart like the unfortunate souls ahead of us, fear not, koko-AAA will be on the scene.
As you cruise along the cart path on the side of the fairway keep your eyes peeled, no, not for the cart lady as there was no on course beverage service, but perhaps some wildlife. Never been on an African safari before, but I imagine a similar landscape. At times I wasn’t sure if we were driving through the giraffe exhibit at the Phoenix Zoo or on a golf course.
If you’re good enough to navigate the narrow fairways, which were really the only playable lies, you’ll need to be on your game for the approach or you may end up in a sand trap which looked more like the beaches at Normandy. Guess they’re still playing 2020 rules where nobody uses the rakes. One of the holes even appeared to feature a green side slip-n-slide, too bad I forgot my trunks.
…And then the greens, soft, slow, fuzzy like a Georgia peach and most of them looked like they were attacked by a hailstorm. Guess most golfers missed the sign hanging on the carts that reads “Please repair your divots on the green.” Why bother I guess when you’re already navigating double hole locations and spots where it appears the weekend warrior threw in the towel with a snowman, giving one last hack and taking a chunk out of the green in the process.
To cap it all off, watch out for the Make a Wish ambush on the signature 11th… my only wish was the pitch man would give it a rest during my backswing. Things were just starting to open up, I’m not concerned about Captain Sullenburger flying into Canadian Mallards and landing his plane on the Hudson. Look, I’m all about supporting a good cause, but anything short of firing a golf ball out of a potato gun, and I’ll go ahead and save my donations for the wicker baskets getting passed around on Sunday mornings.
In all seriousness, the course clearly got some wet weather at some point recently that resulted in standing water where it shouldn’t be, mud patches that killed grass, and overgrown weeds; the place is probably understaffed and working on a tight budget, but damn, all that aside not worth the price of admission to say the least. Just too many unkempt areas to charge that type of money. Parred the last 3 holes and got the hell out of there. I think we’ll leave it at that.
Cheers.